L.A, why’d you leave me? We were a pair you know. You always were there to listen, or to make me laugh when you know I needed it. I’ll always wish we didn’t have to deny the facts, we both know we’re not close anymore. We were so damn close. I need you you know, I need you so much right now. Everything is falling apart, I can’t do this. You don’t understand how I feel when he mentions you. I get so jealous, how has your friendship managed to become greater when ours just failed. I’ll always count you as my best friend, I hope you know that.
A.E, I am so fucking sorry. I walk by you everyday, and we smile and say high with such insincere friendship. I want to know how you’re doing, you had your problems I would never deny to help you with. And I have mines, I need you for them. I want you to cry over the phone with me. I don’t regret my current friends, and I’m not asking you to take back yours, but I miss you. I hate having to answer my mom about you, there really isn’t a good explanation to why we aren’t friends. Leaving unresolved issues in life sucks. You would’ve known what to do and say. Every time we exchange tiny greetings I just want to turn to you and hug you like we never stopped making that part of our routine.We were supposed to be eachother’s maid of honors, babysitters, and even arrange the other’s funeral. Look at us now. I have no idea if you regret being my best friend, but I sure as hell don’t. I miss you, A. I need you so much right now, you’d make this better somehow. Fuck, let’s be friends again. I need you I need you I need you, I can’t do this without you. No one ever understood like you did. I can’t seem to want k tell anyone but you. I love you and miss you so much, ‘Alice’.
S.G. You walk by everyday and don’t even look back. You weren’t supposed to be the friend who turned their back on me. I want yourself back. I want to be able to cross your mind knowing you’re not talking shit about me everytime my existence comes up. You never said bye. The day you said you’d never do that to me is the day you did. We haven’t talked since that conversation. Do you know how shitty it feels to not know whether you’ve completely been brainwashed to learn to hate me like they do, or if you kept your head and are still you down there. I really do miss you.
I really couldn’t care less about us, I came to my senses, I’m an ass for letting an ass make me cry myself to sleep every night. You’re just not as important to me as I thought you’d be.
So, thanks for the blushes and tears,
Goodbye first love, you’ve taught me something.
Dec. 15th 2010- May 18th. 2012
